I hate asparagus.
I know I'm an adult and I'm not supposed to say I hate my vegetables. But I hate asparagus. I think it's the weird texture. Or maybe it's the terrible taste. Or maybe it's the traumatic childhood memories...yep, that's probably it!
Asparagus is plentiful in eastern Washington state about this time each year. When I was growing up, my mom cooked it all the time because, you know - she was an adult - and adults love their green vegetables. That's the rule.
She tried to pass her love of that nasty thing onto me. She served it every night with whatever we had. Meatloaf and asparagus. Chicken and asparagus. Eggs and asparagus. Spaghetti and asparagus. Not a single green salad in sight!
Where was she getting this stuff?
A venture downstairs to the extra freezer held the answer. To my horror, it was filled with one-family-meal sized bags of frozen asparagus!
When we went on vacation - camping in our little trailer, dad barbecued hamburgers. Mom added a large forkful of asparagus next to it on our plates.
I became a master of hiding my asparagus. I did the whole "hide it in the napkin" and then throw it away trick. I stuck it in the flower vase a few times. And on that dreadful vacation... I slipped it into my hand, dropped my fork on the ground under the picnic table, and then promptly buried it in the sandy dirt beneath it.
Fast forward about 45 years. Mom went with a caregiver to the store and guess what she brought home? Asparagus. She was so very excited! I promised her I'd make it for her but by the time I got around to it, it had gone bad. I really didn't know it went bad that fast...really!
So, tonight she went over to my daughters, who also loves the stuff. When I went to pick mom up, she had a bowl that was almost empty. She informed me that my daughter had made her a bowlful of asparagus and it was soooo good! Mom oooh'd and awww'd over it while we were there, and then all the way home.
Tonight I got a message from my daughter. It said, 'I love cooking for grandma. Can she come over once a week so I can cook for her? It's so nice to cook for someone who appreciates my cooking. all I ever hear from Charlie (her 4-year old) is "That is gross" and "This is disgusting!"
So, yes, mom can go have dinner with them. And I hope to God that means I never have to lay eyes on a spear of asparagus again!
A girl can dream!
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