The Truth Nobody Told Me

My father died in December, 2017. He was 96-years old. His death hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I should have been prepared but how does one prepare for the death of a parent anyway.

But here's what's on my heart; I did not get the Hollywood, Hallmark Channel death experience. Somehow, my rather intelligent brain did not compute that what I'd seen on TV wasn't real. And in fact, I will never get over the death journey my father's body embarked on. Daddy died of old age - something that doesn't happen much anymore. But his doctor saw him a week or so prior and told him, "Murray, I'm not saying that you want to die. But I am saying that's what your body is doing." I was devastated. We all were.

But what I wasn't mentally picturing is what death would really look like. I learned that it's painful. Body functions start shutting down. No longer craving food or water, the joints aren't lubricated anymore and that hurts like hell. The mind isn't clear any more. There's a blankness to the look on his face, occasionally he comes out of it. His last words to me were the day before he died. He said, "Hi, Sweetie," when I came in.

Sad? Of course it is. But it's also reality. My mother moving in with me is also reality. And if what I write can help someone see what the truth is, then I've accomplished what my heart's desire is - to share it all; the good, bad, and the ugly. That's the truth I want to share with you (and me). It's another truth nobody talks about. So, let's bring it out into the light.

What's your truth?

~Lavinia